If we build momentum by celebrating our victories, we need to make sure we are taking note of the goals and milestones as we pass them.  I find it all too easy to look at what I haven’t accomplished – where I feel I stalled in my development.  Sometimes my progress towards my goals seems to move so slowly that I forget I’m moving at all.  I have a bad habit of always setting the next goal just before attaining the original one; leaving me with a sense of never really getting any closer to the goal posts.  That is why I think it is essential to take some time to look back and review the journey that I have taken this year.  And what about you…what was your top 10 for 2009?

For those of you who write journals you may want to flip back through the pages.  Re-reading your journal can really help you to remember where you have been and how you have changed.  The following questions could help some of you to get started in your own review:

Where were you at this time last year?  Two years ago?  Ten?

What was your greatest accomplishment at work this year?

What was your biggest challenge this year and what did you learn from this?

What goal(s) did you set for yourself this year?  What progress did you make toward this goal?

What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t know at this time last year?

What was the best moment that you shared with a loved one this year?  With a friend?

How have your relationships changed and grown this year?

What did you do this year that surprised yourself?

What risk did you take that you didn’t think possible?

Those are just some ideas to help get you started.  I’d love to hear from anyone who gives these questions a whirl.  Good luck and Happy New Year!

Art comes in so many variations, permutations, descriptions, shades, variables, slices, hues and strengths that it really does offer something for everyone.  There are as many types of artistic expression as there are people in the world; everything from opera to blue grass, knitting to water colours, sculpture to architecture, gardening to theatre.  It can be experienced on a visceral level and it can change your world.  Art can challenge you to expand your horizons, inspire you to feel something different,  allow you access to another person’s experience or find that an artist has perfectly illustrated or articulated your deepest feelings. 

Art has a way of speaking directly to your soul and it is one of the great gifts of being alive.  So I offer this little piece of advice.  Find a way to bring more art into your life. Experiment with different types of art forms and go to museums, galleries, theatre and concerts.  Put “exploring forms of creative expression” higher on your list of priorities. And whenever you see, hear, do or feel something you like, something that inspires and thrills you … look at it, study it and find a way to get more of that into your life.

James Arthur Ray

The problem is usually not in formulating goals but in seeing them through to their fruition.  For me, goals pertaining to improving my health and fitness have proven to be the most challenging.  Previously, when I have tried to set a goal to lose ten pounds or to start a regular exercise routine, I have found that I usually give up after a few weeks (or days) because the task seemed impossible.  What’s going on here?  What is the secret to sticking with a goal when I can’t see the finishing line?

First of all let’s examine what is causing me to give up prematurely.  It could be that the task seemed too overwhelming.  In the overwhelmed state of mind I doubt my ability to achieve a goal.  I say things to myself like “it’s too hard” or “I’ll never be able to run that far without getting winded.”  The negative thoughts work to chip away at all motivation and momentum that I had originally.  If I continually tell myself it can’t be done, eventually I will believe what I’m saying. 

Discouragement is another reason people give up on their goals.  This is one that I am intimately familiar with.  I have started and stopped regular exercise routines more times than I can count.  Usually what happens is I fail to see any results of my efforts – or I put all of my focus on achieving one result, such as losing weight.  The weight loss focus is particularly frustrating and discouraging.  It seems that my body conspires against me to hold on to every last ounce of fat.  After exercising for a few weeks without seeing any weight loss, I quickly lose my motivation and just stop completely.

I decided a few months ago that I was going to change this pattern.  I knew that I needed to maintain a regular exercise routine – for my overall health and well-being.  I wrote out a list of benefits of exercise and what my personal goals were; such as to remain healthy, to feel strong, look better in my clothes, etc.  I’ve now been exercising regularly for 9 months and it is the longest I have ever remained on the proverbial exercise wagon.  Yeah me!

Despite this success, I’ve had to battle the same old demons.  There are many times that I have felt discouraged because my body has not really changed that much.  The changes that have occurred are very subtle – too subtle for my liking.  I’ve had to stop, take stock and reevaluate my priorities.  I realize that health is my number one reason for working out.  I have decided that I need to trust that working out is good for my health and that if I continue to work on my fitness eventually my body will change. 

I’ve also recognized that health and fitness are really big life-long goals.  I will always want to become healthier and more physically fit.  So the trick is to try to keep my motivation to work out without becoming overwhelmed or discouraged by the lack of immediate results.  It is time once again to take a step back to goal setting stage.  I need to recommit to a plan of action that includes smaller and more specific goals. 

I have learned that if I use only one measurement of success (such as weight loss), I will become discouraged and quit.  According to Tony Robbins … “all momentum in life is created by celebrating the victories”.  In keeping with this advice, I will set smaller incremental goals such as lifting increasingly heavier weights or completing more repetitions.  I will chart all of these goals in my fitness journal and take note of my progress towards these goals.  By tracking all of the mini goals that I am accomplishing I should easily see many beneficial results.

I have found that it really helps to have my own cheer-leading squad.  I have a group of friends that get together once a month to talk about our goals, share a glass of wine and generally offer support to one another.  Sometimes, I find myself sticking to a previously set goal just so I don’t have to come up short at the monthly meeting.  The group helps to hold me accountable to making the changes that I have determined are important to my growth and development.    

Perhaps there will come a time when fitness will become a natural part of my every day life and I won’t have to continue to make formal commitments to working out.  Until then I will continue to set and work on goals; finding ways to leverage myself into doing a behaviour that has proven challenging.  The lesson here is that the behavioural change (working out) is actually the easy part; it’s mastering the mental game that is the challenge.

Did you watch The Secret and write yourself a cheque for a million dollars?  Is the cheque dusty now and still your bank account is still into overdraft each month?  I think that you are not alone.  The movie made the ‘Law of Attraction’ seem all so easy didn’t it?  Visualize your goal; think about it everyday and it will come true.  The Secret brought the Law of Attraction into awareness of millions of people and many of them are still clutching onto their million dollar cheques thinking that it was a lot of new age hype about nothing.

Well I think that it’s worth giving “attraction” a second look.  I think the movie was great for as far as it went.  The movie made the process of attraction seem all so very mysterious and mystical – but it is actually knowledge that is quite widely accepted in all sorts of legitimate circles; although often called a different name.  Ever heard of the term “self-fulfilling prophesy”? What is that but holding a belief (often negative) and then the belief becomes reality.  Is that not the same concept as attracting that reality?  When you believe that something good can happen you open yourself up to possibilities that you shut off when you believe that it is impossible to have that good thing.  It is the power of optimism and this I can assure you is valid and powerful force. 

On the flip side, negative thinking can be equally as powerful.  Do you know anyone who seems to have nothing but bad luck and bad experiences?  When you talk to them are they mostly positive or do they dwell on the negative?  And when on the occasion that you do meet the person who remains positive despite having to endure more than their fair share – what do you think of them?  Do you see this person as a victim or do you feel inspired by their strength, optimism and perseverance? 

I believe that the people who created The Secret were right about the power in visualizing and believing in your goal.  I think that this is the ultimate first step in attaining anything that you want in life.  If you don’t believe you can have that thing or achieve that goal – you won’t.  Once you have a goal in mind and you can clearly picture the goal and see yourself achieving it then possibilities start to show themselves to you (attraction). 

Now here is the part that The Secret skipped over – the next step is to actually work towards the goal by taking advantage of the opportunities and possibilities that present themselves.  And this is where the law of attraction becomes less mysterious and more common sense… you still have to exert effort into getting that goal. 

So, it is time to really get clear about what it is that you really want – because you are not going to put effort towards a goal that is just mediocre.  The Law of Attraction is most effective when you have a clear vision of the something that you want and you are willing to put everything you’ve got into achieving that goal.   It needs to be the really big dream; the dream that scares the crap out of you, the one that you don’t even allow yourself to think about because it too scary and feels out of reach. Once you lock onto that dream and start moving in that direction you will notice the Law of Attraction starting to work.  And that my friends, is when the real magic happens

-diversionist, wrecker, ruiner, up rooter, waster, destroyer, undoer

- a person who destroys or ruins or lays waste to; “a destroyer of the environment”; “jealousy was his undoer”

  We can be clear on what we want in life and have the skills needed to achieve this vision and still feel powerless to attain it.  A baseball player can have the goal of getting a home run, have the skills to hit the ball out of the park,  but she still might freeze every time she gets up to bat.  There are forces within us that stand in our way in getting the life that we want.  In coaching we usually call these forces saboteurs and we all have at least one and often a whole committee of internal saboteurs!  Typically, these forces manifest as an internal voice telling us “you can’t do it”, “it’s too hard”, “who do you think you are chasing that dream”, “you’re just stupid” or other negative messages.  Sometimes, our saboteurs are so relentless that we believe that they speak the truth.  But they don’t speak the truth; they are dream stealers and energy drainers.  Often, if we really take the time to analyze them we find that they are not our voice at all, but the voice of a parent, teacher or someone else that was critical of us. 

 The saboteur may not be intentionally trying to hurt you, only misguided in his attempt to offer protection.  For example, your saboteur may be trying to stop you from taking risks because he is afraid that you will be disappointed.  The problem is that a crafty saboteur will be so zealous in his efforts to protect you that he will thwart your efforts to take advantage of the opportunities that life presents to you.  To achieve your fullest most exciting life, you will need to find a way to either reassure a frightened saboteur or completely gag a relentless critical saboteur.

 There are a few different strategies for dealing with internal saboteurs.  The first step in any strategy is to know your opponent – you have to build awareness.  You need to find a way to evaluate negative messages as they arise.  Ask yourself – is this thought about myself really the truth or is it just some criticism that my father used to say to me.  Try writing in your journal about the origins of your particular saboteur; opportunities that you missed out on because of his medaling or  what could change for you if you were to silence the negative voice.  

 Some people find it helpful to create a persona as a way to visualize their saboteur.  A relentless negative saboteur could be visualized as a wicked witch; a fearful saboteur could be a crying child.   A way of dealing with a cackling wicked witch might be to visualize taping her mouth shut or dousing her with a pail of water.  You may want to offer the frightened child reassurance – telling her that you will be okay; that you are an adult and can deal with the consequences of taking that risk.

 If you find that your saboteur is standing in the way of your dreams you need to find a way to effectively deal with her.  After all, it’s just an internal voice; it only has power if you grant it the power.